2016 -- The Scattering of Kali's and Josh's Ashes

A Tough Hike.

This web page describes my 10 day hike in Desolation Wilderness in the Summer of 2016.  I have shared some very personal thoughts with you in the hopes that you can learn something about yourself too.  Please try not to judge me too harshly.  I'd recommend viewing the video recap and then if you are interested and have the time, read my trip blog below.  Enjoy!! But please keep an open mind!!!!

https://youtu.be/45LmViT96GA

O, while you live, tell truth and shame the devil!
Shakespeare Henry IV. Part I, 1597

Kali and Josh were the first dogs I was responsible for as a single adult in the early 90's.  They were my family.  I never considered them like children and calling them pets may be technically correct but to me they were more like dog friends that I respected and I was alpha of the pack.  The bonding I had with them was very tight.  I could read them and they could read me.  Before I met my wife, Suzanne, they were it for me.  I worked hard during the day and came home to two wonderful dogs.

We went for walks in the mornings along the American River and in the evenings we would settle in for playing sock and watching TV.  As they aged, first Kali could not do our entire routine walking loop.  I would carry her most of the way while Joshy was fine walking.

Kali died in 2004.  Kali had a rough death.  Her blood pressure was so low the vet had great difficulty finding a vein to administer the drugs to send Kali to God's welcoming arms.  In retrospect, because we were so sad to lose her we delayed too long to relieve Kali of her suffering.

Within a couple of years, Josh was having troubles.  I didn't mind carrying my old friend either on walks. Josh died in 2006.  Suzanne and I decided to store their ashes at our cabin in the Sierra foothills.  Their ashes were joined by the ashes of Suzanne's dogs, Moose and Nia, as they aged and also went to heaven. A few years ago we lost little Maggie, so her ashes are in a little cedar box too.  Life is a wonderful gift from God, but losing friends is excruciatingly painful for me.  My fingers are like lead typing this.

Over the last few years we have had several burglaries at the cabin. Each time the burglars would open up the cedar boxes and handle the dog's ashes looking for valuables.  At least they didn't dump the ashes on the floor.  The last burglary was in November 2015 and I was very upset knowing how their ashes were disturbed.  I needed to let go of their ashes.  It would be traumatic for me to see their ashes dumped on the floor of the cabin or worse, stolen.

I came to the conclusion that Kali and Josh's ashes belonged to no one other than God and needed to be given back to the Earth.  In my youth (1970's and 80's) I had a special connection with the Velma Lakes area of Desolation Wilderness.  I felt the connection again in 2013 after my retirement.  Upper Velma Lake is where I wanted to scatter Kali's and Josh's ashes.  

Kali

Joshy

Their ashes.

Getting It Done.

It became clear that due to other time constraints this year (2016) I would have only one chance to visit the high country so I decided to make this trip an extended 10 day trip.  I would also need the extended time to emotionally recover from scattering their ashes.  Heavy physical workouts and a small dose of Xanax is an effective therapy for me in dealing with depression.

My pack weighed in excess of 50 lbs which alarmed me.  This is my maximum.  I eat about 2 lbs of food per day so a good 20 lbs would be consumables.  I knew once I climbed up and out of the Tahoe Basin I would be okay.  The first few days would be the toughest.  After scattering the ashes I would also lose an immediate 3 lbs.  I was committed to carrying Kali and Josh one last time.  No one was going to ever mess with their ashes again.

On Monday August 15th, I drove up to the Bay View Trail Head at Lake Tahoe and started the hike.

Here is a link to a map showing my approximate route (you can zoom in to see the names of the lakes):

http://www.alltrails.com/maps/2016-desolation-2

My plan was to hike counterclockwise around the loop.  The mileage of the hike was between 30 and 40 miles considering the day hikes when I would be staying at one or two lakes for two nights.

Day 1: Upper Velma Lake

Note: Click on a picture to expand it.  Then click on the upper right hand box to close the large photo or hit the ESC key to come back to this page.

The old trusty '93 maroon Subaru Legacy.  I never have to worry about it being stolen.

Climbing out of the Tahoe Basin.  Emerald Bay below.

Granite Lake

Getting higher...

Made it out of the Tahoe Basin and onto the Wilderness Plateau

First Trail Junction.  I love these 4x4 markers.  I can't hardly pass one without taking a picture.

This marker officially starts my loop hike.

Resting at Upper Velma Lake

During the hike up to Upper Velma Lake I was thinking how I was carrying Kali's and Joshy's weight one last time.  My nose was running the whole time while I was reminiscing the good times we had.  People passing me on the trail must have thought I had an allergy.  It was really tough to say a cheery "hello" and have the usual brief chit chats with other hikers.

Upper Velma Lake

I was emotionally and physically exhausted and needed something to eat and to go to bed.  I didn't take any photos of Upper Velma Lake.  The one above is from a previous trip from a few years ago.  The cloud cover in this old photo reflects my mood.   Food was bland.  Sadness and a gaping bleeding hole in my heart was my friend that night.

Day 2:  On to 4-Q Lakes

I was greeted by blue skies and a sense of relief the next morning.  I wanted to hike my heart out and follow the trail.  Sometimes it's the dumb simple things that make us most happy.

I hiked to 4-Q Lakes and found a shady tree to take a nap under.  It was another hot day.  There was no one else at the lake so at around 5 pm I waded into the water and had a wonderful swim au naturel.  This was an incredible salve on my emotional wounds and my exhausted body.  The granite slabs going into the water were warm so I found a  smooth granite slab to warm my bones on.  I struggle with my own ugliness and body shame that age has inflicted upon me.  Letting go of it here was exhilarating.  Food tasted good again.  I felt alive, really ALIVE!!

Day 3: Hiking an un-maintained trail...

Here are some photos of 4-Q Lakes at sunrise.  Click on them to expand...

Nice flat spot for camp!

I will remember this little lake forever.  The water was so welcoming.  Here I could cry out in the open missing Kali and Josh and yet laugh out loud recalling old memories.  At night it was so clear even I could see the stars with my cataract eyes.  I am so lucky.  Knowing my insignificance and yet God allows me these experiences.  I'm humbled.  God willing, I can come back here next year.


I had a late start leaving 4-Q Lakes indulging in my photography and taking in the sights. I needed to get back on the trail to get to the next camp before it got too hot. Problem was the trail was very slow going.  An un-maintained trail means that logs, brush, and rock slides many times hid the trail.  This was not the well marked easy to hike Pacific Crest Trail (PCT)!

Can you spot the cairn (pile of rocks) marking the trail?  Click to expand the photo.

If you look closely, you will find a cairn.

Horseshoe Lake

Camp at Lower Leland Lake

Lower Leland Lake is the jewel of this trail loop.  It has a beach.  I decided to spend 2 nights here.

Here are some still photos of Lower Leland Lake:

Time to hit the trail again!

Spending 2 nights at Lower Leland Lake was awesome.  I had the whole lake to myself.  I think I could have spent another day exploring this area.  At the end of the day the shallow water had warmed up and was inviting.  Swimsuits?  Yeah, sure.  I feel alive!!  I think I will come back here next year.

Day 5:  On to Lake Lois...

This day I had a rough pass to climb that would drop me down to Lake Schmidell.  From there I would go up and down a little pass and camp at Lake Lois.

Upper and Lower Leland Lakes

Seriously, this is the trail over the pass.  Can you hear me grunt climbing this thing?

One last look at the Leland Lakes.

Lush flowers in August?

After coming over the pass the ecosystem dramatically changed.  There was no longer cracked and crushed granite.  Instead there were percolating springs, mud and green everywhere.  The trail crossed a little creek where I filled up on cold sweet water.  I just kept thinking how incredible this was and how lucky I am.  I am so lucky I don't understand it.

Clean water and flowers.

Tough not to get teary eyed seeing this beauty.

My first view of Lake Schmidell

My life support system.  Taking a break at Lake Schmidell

I made it to Lake Schmidell around 10 am.  It was too early to quit hiking and was not yet too hot to quit so I proceeded to stay on the trail. I would have enjoyed spending a day here though.  Maybe next time.  I decided to climb a small ridge that would dump me into the basin holding Lois Lake.

I was back on maintained trails.  What a difference.  What I did not like was the horse dung on the trail.  Flies. Flies. Flies.  The trail was also very loose from the horses kicking up rocks.  I never will understand why people would want to risk the health of their horses on these steep trails.  Simple physics.  Large masses on rickety legs are not stable on steep terrain.  If they want pack animals, they should use llamas.

By the time I made it to Lois Lake the heat really picked up.  The rocks there were darker so they picked up more heat and reflected it back at you.  I found the best shaded campsite on the lake and called it home.

Campsite at Lois Lake.  Note the log splitting the site.

For the most part this lake is barren and rocky.  This was the only completely shady site near the lake.  There were other campsites but they had only stubby trees offering little shade and lots of rocks to poke you in your back as you slept.

My view taking a snoozy.

At the time I decided to stop here I hadn't realized that this is a very busy little lake for hikers coming into Desolation Wilderness from the Wrights Lake Trailhead.  Within an hour about 4 or 5 hikers were scoping out the lake looking for a place to camp.  I felt guilty about having such a large area (see photo above) all for myself.

Federal regulations require that on the first night you must camp at the first location designated on your wilderness permit.  It can be a hefty ticket if you break this regulation.

At one point a woman solo hiker in her mid 20's walked into my camp not seeing me snoozing on the other side of the log (see the photo above).  She promptly left but not after startling me awake.  She continued hiking along a dead end trail looking for a place to camp.  As she was backtracking through my camp I suggested she investigate a grove of trees on the other side of the lake.  Her face was very red like she was overheating but she was walking normally (no stumbling or slurred speech) so I didn't think she was in any trouble.  She said she had found some other campsites but were in the sun and she was going to keep looking.  I suggested that Schmidell Lake was just on the other side of the ridge and there were lots of places there to camp with shade.  I said the worst case would be to find a tree to sit under and then wait for the sun to go lower before setting up camp.  She said she just might do that, wished each other happy trails and she was on her way.

I was a little worried about sharing a campsite with a woman I didn't know.  If she had been a young man, I would have certainly offered to share my campsite since the log provided a natural barrier.

But, I hadn't cleaned up yet which requires privacy and of course there is the morning poop ritual that requires privacy so I wasn't keen to offer my space.  Yet, it had been 5 days since I had a conversation so I might have enjoyed some company.  On the other hand, if this was her first night out, my bet is solitude is what she wanted.  Humans are complicated and language is so lacking to be able to see what is in people's hearts.

Jesus would have offered to share the space without regard to consequences.  However, I didn't want the young woman to think I was a creepy 60 year old offering to share camp.

If she were my daughter, I think I would have wanted her to water up, take a rest, then hike over one more small pass and camp at Lake Schmidell.

The next morning hiking out I didn't see the woman, but I saw 2 young men in one camp, 4 young women in another, and a young couple in yet another.  The 4 women were spending 2 nights out before heading back to college.  I told them about my vacated site with shade and no rocks and they were going to check it out.

It occurred to me that I had seen more women on this hike than men.  How times have changed.  In my youth, women did not venture into the wilderness unless they were with their boyfriends or husbands.  It is a different era now.  A better era where perhaps women feel safe in the wilderness?  As a man I am circumspect talking to women solo hikers.  For example, never ask where they plan on camping or where they are headed.

This is no different than a man asking me how many lenses I am carrying for my expensive DSLR and carbon fiber tripod rig.  They are innocent questions on face value but I don't want to be "cased" given my vulnerabilities as a solo hiker.

It's amazing how hiking over one pass can change the tone of the hike.  In no way do I have a problem sharing the wilderness with women solo hikers.  I just have this instinct to look out for them more than men hikers.  That's probably sexist I know.  The truth of the matter is there were at least 3 young women who passed me on the trail who I suspected had way more back-county abilities than me.

God gave us big brains for a reason.  I have no idea why but for me there is always something to think about.

Here are some morning photos of Lake Lois...

Day 6: To Lake Aloha...

This trail takes me down to the Rubicon River.  The trail is wonderful and the river crossings are easy in August.  Along the way groves of flowers seem to pop up out of nowhere. As you hike through them you don't want to step on any of them.

The "mighty" Rubicon in August...

Clyde Lake.  I was there last year.

Climbing Mosquito Pass

Lake Aloha

I camped at the cove on the lower left.

Looks like the tree root won this battle.  I'm sure the rock will win the war.

Lake Aloha was hot and windy in the afternoon.  The air temp was in the 80's, but the reflection of the sun off the granite made it feel like 90.  The sandy beach was nice on the feet.  I had the north end of the lake to myself.  This was the first campsite where I had to bury someone's toilet paper (TP) and waste.  The squirrels were dragging the TP around and making a mess.  Regulations require that people pack out all TP and bury waste in 6 inch deep holes.  All it takes is one good rain and their waste ends up in the lake.   It takes time to dig holes in packed gravel and roots with a trowel but we need to do this given how many people visit Desolation Wilderness.

Day 7: On to Gilmore Lake

Every morning I get weather forecasts from my InReach satellite messaging/tracking system.  The forecast was for about 35% chance of thunder storms in the afternoon.  The pictures I took in the morning below at Lake Aloha seem to confirm the forecast.

Looking west there were no clouds 

A lovely beach with warm water in the afternoon.  Note my bird friends.

I shot the video below in the morning just before I started hiking.  I wasn't too happy about hiking into weather as you might be able to detect.  I really could have used a cup of hot coffee.  Breakfast is usually just some dry granola and half a Snickers.

The trail I'm on ties into the Pacific Crest Trail about a mile east of my location.  I expected to encounter a lot of people.  The next lake I encounter is Heather Lake.  The weather improved.

Note Pyramid Peak in the background.  "A lot of people are saying," aliens created that peak.

Next on the menu is Susie Lake...with Dick's Pass in the background.  I'll be climbing Dick's Pass the next day.

Following are just some pictures along the PCT.

This log below was cut by axe probably 40 years ago.  Trees up there have very dense wood and seem to last forever.  Check out the axe marks by clicking on the image.  (Close the enlargement by hitting the ESC key or clicking on the close box in the upper right of the enlargement.)

Made it to Gilmore Lake.  There were only about 4 or 5 people at the popular south end of the lake.  I hiked around to the north west side of the lake.  I had about 100 yds of lake front views to myself and privacy.  All the campsites on the south end of the lake were dusty.  They had been so heavily used there were no pine needles or other organic material to cover the dirt.  A clear sign of overuse.

Gilmore Lake with Mt Tallac in the background.

And then the thunderstorm hit the lake.  I had just finished washing up including washing my hair.  It was cloudy but not cold. There was thunder south of the lake but it didn't seem to be moving so I wasn't too excited about it.  I was still nude from washing up and had just boiled water for re-hydrating my freeze dried dinner.

The winds came up.  Whoa Nellie!  Top priority was to get the boiling water in the food then gather my loose stuff into my trash compactor bag to keep things dry.  The tent was set up when I first arrived just in case.  As I was scrambling around the hail and rain hit.  My body was being pelted by garbanzo bean sized hail!  It stung a little with each impact.  I started laughing.  And then bolts of lightning started flashing with the CRACK/BOOM about 6 seconds later.  I was still laughing.  I guess my Yosemite lightning experience in 2014 had toughened me up.

The lightning seemed to be striking all around Mt Tallac.  Hopefully people were off the mountain.

Garbanzo bean hail on my mat. 

More hail on the ground.

So I sat in my tent, sans clothing, soaking wet with my dinner.  My towel was on the clothes line "drying" in the rain.  I thought about getting into my thermal underwear that I wear at night, but I didn't want to get them wet.  I knew the thunderstorm would be over in about an hour and everything would dry out. So I ate my dinner, wet, cold, and shivering in my tent while it hailed and rained.  I occasionally had a gut level belly laugh because of the absurdity of the situation.  This will be burned into my memory forever.  I felt so ALIVE!!!

 After dinner, I got creative and pulled a clean (very clean!) hiking sock from my pack and dried off with that.  Getting into my warm long johns was blissful.  I slept very well that night.

Day 8:  Get over Dick's Pass before the thunderstorms hit.

In the morning, I received a weather update from my InReach satellite communicator that there was about a 55% chance of thunderstorms that day.  I promised myself this was not going to be a repeat of the Sonora Pass problem from 2014.  I got onto the trail early and the weather was not looking good.  My legs, however, felt like Saturn V rockets at full throttle so I charged the pass.

Here are some photos getting up and over Dick's Pass (click to make them bigger, ESC or click in the upper right corner to go back to normal):

Dick's Peak

Pyramid Peak

The picture below is the saddle on the ridge on Dick's Pass.  To actually get over the pass you have time climb another 1/4 mile where there are few trees.  It could be very dangerous if thunder can be heard.  Lightning can travel up 5 miles horizontally from a storm cell.  I was prepared to turn around and head back to Gilmore Lake if needed.  Fortunately for me it was very cloudy and humid, but no thunder, so I continued the charge up the pass.

Dick's Lake

The top of the pass!

I'm now over the pass and descending to Dick's Lake.  I love these Christmas trees.

When I arrived at Dick's Lake I immediately set up for rain.  While the hail and rain on my body was invigorating, I really didn't want a repeat.

This was my 8th day in the field.  I take pride that I'm not filthy with trail dirt and smell.  I like being clean everyday after a hike.

I use these little wash basins in the photo below.  The one on the left holds 5 L, the one on the right holds 10 L.  I use a very small amount of Sea to Summit Wilderness Wash in the 5 L basin, unscented to not attract bears.  This soap is very similar to the No Rinse brand of soap used to bathe people that cannot shower or step into a bath tub due to physical disabilities.  It is very effective and leaves me very clean without drying out my skin.  I dump in about 1 L of very hot water with 4 L of cold water.  The right hand basin is used for rinsing.  I wash my hair every afternoon if the weather cooperates.

Since I don't use TP on long hikes I use a portable bidet that works with any water bottle.  This system works incredibly well.  After washing up, I usually go for a swim knowing that I'm not polluting the lakes with my dirty body. It is also critical to get sunscreen off your body prior to getting into lakes.  Apparently the chemicals in sunscreen are highly toxic to fish.  We all drink the same water up here so learning these skills is important if we are to be good stewards of these pristine wilderness areas.

Below is my water filtration system.  In prior years I used a Steripen UV system but I found the batteries finicky.  The Sawyer Squeeze system is awesome.  I can let gravity pull water through the filter while I am doing other things.  It also allows me to refill the water bladder in my backpack without having to take the bladder out of my pack.

At Dick's Lake I thought the clouds were going to clear up and we would get some blue sky as the pictures show below.

Literally in minutes God gave a demonstration of real power.  Just when I thought I had everything under control.  Silly Eric the simpleton.

The storm was over within 2 hours.  The weather turned partly cloudy and cold but I had a wonderful late afternoon and evening.  There was one other camper, a solo woman (in her 40's with her dog) about 400 yds west of me.  She came hiking through my camp before the storm hit.  I advised her of a truly sweet campsite west of me and she informed me that she has been camping in that spot annually for the last ten years.  She was up for 4 nights.  She gave me the impression that that was HER campsite.  I didn't have the heart to tell her I first camped there in the mid 80's.

On the day I was going home I had 3 unopened Snickers and 5 Clif bars.  I wasn't crazy about carrying them 6 miles back to the car.  I thought about hiking over to her hollow and asking her if she wanted them.  I decided not to.  I think she wanted solitude.  Just a feeling I got.  If she was a man, I would not have given a second thought to going to her camp to give away food.  Am I over thinking this?  This isn't a men's club anymore!

Day 9:  Zero Day at Dick's Lake

At 6 am I was awakened by squawking birds.  This was so annoying as I wanted to sleep late.  The clip below is what I heard.

I spent the day doing photography and staring at the incredible beauty of this lake.  I was already starting to miss it knowing I would be hiking back to the car tomorrow.  God help me maintain my health for another year so that I may return.

I made the video below on Day 9.  I know I am a bit of drama king, but I can't help it.  When I'm up there solo hiking emotions, taste, catchy musical tunes, and colors seem to be amplified.  When you take away all the clutter and noise in our lives, the real stuff seems clear.  When I come home and tell my wife how much I love her she gives me a funny smile.  We have been married for 20 fantastic years.  Words cannot do justice for my feelings toward her.

And speaking of music.  John Denver's Sunshine On My Shoulders came into my head at 4-Q Lakes while I was swimming au naturel.  It was like a lightning bolt from God that gave me great peace of mind that everything was okay. I didn't even have the music loaded on my smartphone.

I rarely listen to music while I hike.  I think it is because I'm too busy taking in the sights and sounds along the trail.  I don't want to miss anything.

There was another song that came into my mind out of nowhere.  After you see the video below and the recap video at the top of this web page you will know it too.  A lot of things I can't explain, but sometimes you just go with it because you know it is right.

Day 10:  Time To Go Home...

It was such a good day!

Good Bye Dick's Lake! 

Good Bye Dick's Peak!

Leaving the Dick's Lake Basin!

Gazing at some water from Upper Velma Lake in the distance.  Take a breath.

The loop is now closed from 10 days ago.

Approaching the decent to the Lake Tahoe Basin.

Such a good day!

Eagle Lake

The decent to the Bay View Trail Head begins.

Emerald Bay and Granite Lake

Such a good day!

South Lake Tahoe in the distance.

And back to the car!

That's the end.  Don't forget to play the recap video if you didn't play it at the top of this web page:

One more thing:  There was one another melody that came into my head that I struggled with.  Dare I say it?  I don't want to infect you with its vicious repetitive tones.  Scroll down and I will write the words that must not be spoken.





















Pop Goes the Weasel.  I warned you!  I dare you to click on this:
https://youtu.be/fv4kp4ZnSuE